Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
