We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I see more hoeing in ur future
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
