soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize