kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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