He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
that's an acceptable place to lick
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Did I show you my penis last night?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
