I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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