they need to just BURY HIM!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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