I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
