I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
