Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I could fuck to npr.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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