20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
