glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
