I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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