i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
