dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
