I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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