weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
