I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize