Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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