your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
