I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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