i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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