so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
