I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
