Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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