your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Randomize
