apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize