im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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