i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
