I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
