i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
