so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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