im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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