i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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