DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Randomize
