end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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