these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I need to stop coming to work sober
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
