Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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