you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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