btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
