also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
