dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
