Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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