What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm passing your future prison.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
