Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
