Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I would ride that face into the sunset
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
