I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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