I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
