I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
