are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
