your thong is hanging out like whoa
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Randomize
