Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
