Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Are we still banned from the library?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
