goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Girls should come with a carfax report
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I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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