So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
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Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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