Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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