why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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