I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
