I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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